The Gray Area

With the Holidays upon us, I tend to paint a picture of how to enjoy the perfect traditions. When I take my family to cut a tree, I want the perfect day – snow flurries, 40 degrees, and about 2 inches of snow on the ground. Needless to say, that high bar is seldom met! Instead, our typical tree cutting  mission is somewhere in between best case and the worst case scenario – the gray area.

I have decided to write about this topic that touches every single student and person at Oakhill – the Gray Area! I always hear words such as winner, loser; perfection, failure; best, worst; biggest, smallest; happiest, saddest; peaks, valleys; easy, hard; most, least; top, bottom; fastest, slowest; strongest, weakest; nicest, meanest; and the opposites go on and on. These words represent the extremes, but there is SO much in between!

Whether we are talking about a two year old or an eighth grader; a board game or a contest; a sporting event or a math quiz – I hear these words as both a parent and administrator. These words are real and they carry an impactful punch, but much of life is found somewhere in between – in what I call the Gray Area!

At a young age, children want to win, to be first, to be bigger, to be stronger, to be faster, and to be the best at what they do. A good educator helps children see how important it is to try their best, but it is okay to not be the first, to not be the winner, to not be the strongest, fastest, and best. Teamwork and individual strengths are emphasized.

As children enter the sports world, the focus is on developing the fundamental skills, learning to be a team player, and learning to enjoy the sport. As the years go by, a good coach continues to instill the love of the game – continuing to focus on growth and development versus the win/loss column.

In the academic world, children want to do well – to receive +’s, A’s and high percentages. They realize teachers and parents want these things for them – from them. Good educators keep the main focus on progress, process, developmental stages, and growth, not simply the end product – the grade.

Now comes the Gray Area – there are many levels between winning and losing; there are many stages between best and worst; and there is a huge difference between perfection and failure. My job, as a school leader, is to create an environment where teachers are encouraged to push the envelope, to grow and stretch, and where students are nurtured, yet exposed to situations where they will win, lose, find perfection, recognize failure, and know that giving their best is all we can ask for on any given day.

As an adult, I have very few “perfect” days. To be honest, I probably have very few “perfect” hours. I don’t tend to win or lose on a daily basis. I am not the best or the worst on any given day. I am not perfect, nor am I a failure. I live every day somewhere in the Gray Area. As a parent, one of my goals for my own children is to experience the Gray Area – to recognize personal growth and development, to set achievable goals, and to not feel the need to produce all A’s, but to learn from all percentages given.

I want Oakhill students to win with pride and lose with grace; to be the best they can be even if it isn’t their perception of what is best; to realize everyone makes mistakes both big and small - and the only thing you can do with those mistakes is learn from them – not erase them – they happened for a reason.

When Oakhill students become adults, they will be the sought after employee – bright, creative, hard working, compassionate, driven, and realistic. They will experience wins and losses; ups and downs; peaks and valleys; and happiness and sadness, but most of all we hope they can navigate the Gray Areas of life – the space in between the extremes!